Welcome to Effingwoods Fire & Rescue.

In a small town where you can pick your friends but not your heroes, an underachieving volunteer firefighter gets an unexpected shot at his dream.

Hosed began as a web series written and created by Juston McKinney about a volunteer fire department in the fictitious town of Effingwoods, NH. In 2010 we created a series of webisodes but we were always thinking we wanted to tell the bigger story. With the overwhelming support and demand for more from fans we completed the script for the feature film in Spring of 2013.


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The Story

In a small town where you can pick your friends but not your heroes, an underachieving volunteer firefighter played by Gary Valentine (Cousin Danny King of Queens), gets an unexpected shot at his dream.

SMITTY was supposed to be 4th generation Boston Firefighter. When it didn't happen, his only dream in life of becoming a full time firefighter was gone. No one was more disappointed than his father RICHARD (played by Lenny Clarke), who on the verge of retirement, and not wanting to become a stay-at-home dad, kicks Smitty out of the house. Smitty now a volunteer firefighter in Effingwoods, NH and working part time at the "Bait, Tackle and Tanning", is fighting to earn pay-per-call and earn the respect of his Dad.

But it won't be easy with Smitty's biggest foe, an unethical town SELECTMAN, who sees the fire department as a bunch of incompetent wannabes, steers the public funding to the town's one man police department, who happens to be his nephew, POLICE CHIEF KOPP.

Living in the town of Effingwoods can take its toll, but one thing is for sure, if there's a fire, the heroes of the EFD will roll.

The Cast

Gary V

Gary Valentine


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From Long Island, New York. Weighing in at a hundred and blah blah blah.......... Valentine is well known for his nine seasons as Cousin Danny on the hit CBS sitcom, "The King of Queens". In addition to appearing on screen, he co-wrote a few The King of Queens episodes, which he claims are the best. Elsewhere on the small screen, Valentine notably appeared on the television show Men of a Certain Age, which was written and directed by Ray Romano, and met with critical acclaim. Prior to his run on the series, he starred in his own half hour special on Comedy Central along with hosting The X Show on FX.

Valentine got his start in show business on the stand up comedy stage. After an appearance at the Montreal Comedy Festival, he left his native New York for heavier traffic in Los Angeles. There, Valentine quickly landed spots on various talk shows including, The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, and the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, among others. He's been headlining comedy clubs and theaters ever since.

On the big screen, Valentine has worked alongside such Hollywood heavyweights as Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear ("Stuck on You"), and Adam Sandler ("I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry"). In addition to a number of specials for the Comedy Central Network, as well as a cameo in Jerry Seinfeld's lauded documentary, "Comedian", he can be seen in such films as "Paul Blart: Mall Cop", "Zookeeper", and "Poolboy: Drowning Out the Fury", along with the independent short film "Alive ‘n' Kickin."

Valentine also makes frequent appearances as a round table comedian on the popular E! Network late-night talk show "Chelsea Lately."

Valentine is convinced that Adam Sandler said, "GV will be one of People magazines 100 sexiest stars......soon."


Juston McKinney


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As a stand-up comedian, Juston has had 2 Comedy Central specials including a one hour and has performed numerous times on the "Tonight Show”, both with Jay Leno and Conan O’brien". He has appeared in episodes of "The King of Queens" and the Sidney Lumet drama "100 Centre Street". His movie credits include "The Zoo Keeper” and “Here Comes the Boom". He currently lives in New Hampshire with his wife, kids and dogs.


Tom Shillue


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2013 has been a busy year for Tom Shillue.

Over the past several years he shot a Comedy Central Presents stand up special, was awarded back-to-back ECNY awards for "Best Storyteller" and "Best Solo Show" for his run of "Supernormal" at PS122. A former correspondent on The Daily Show, Tom also performed stand up on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, appeared in the feature film Mystery Team. Tom is also a regular guest on FoxNews program RedEye with Greg Gutfeld.

But in 2013, Tom has: continued to release one album a month as part of his ambitious "12 in 12" project which features a new live comedy album with a different theme each month for a year. He's also made multiple appearances on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, both as a stand up, and as part of The Rag Time Gals, Jimmy's barbershop quartet. The Gals version of "Sexy Back" with Justin Timberlake went mega-viral and has been viewed millions of times.

He's performed in more than 50 theaters with Jim Gaffigan as the opening act on The White Bread Tour.


Lenny Clarke

Richard Smith (Smitty's Dad)


Lenny Clarke is a legend of the Boston comedy scene which has led him to a very successful career in film and television. He had his own show, Lenny, before being cast as Officer Lambert on the John Laroquette Show. Most recently he was cast to play Chelsea Handler's father in her NBC sitcom, Are You There Chelsea? He also played Uncle Teddy on the FX hit show, Rescue Me. Some of his films include, There's Something About Mary, Me Myself and Irene, and Fever Pitch.

The Team


Juston McKinney

Writer / Producer

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Juston is a writer, actor and stand-up comedian who has appeared on many Comedy Central shows including his half hour "Comedy Central Presents Special" and most recently his 1-hour special "Juston McKinney-A Middle-Class Hole", which he executive produced. He has had sitcom development/writing deals with Warner Brothers, CBS Productions, IFC and Comedy Central. He currently lives in New Hampshire with his wife, kids and dogs. New Hampshire magazine awarded him "Best of NH 2013" and has named him on their "It List".


Marc Dole

Director / Producer / Editor / Animator

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Marc Dole is an award winning filmmaker, Alumni of the NH state film commission, guest lecturer and advisor to schools, festivals and conferences. Marc was named as one of the "it" people by NH Magazine in 2007 and 2011 and received the NH Filmmaker of the Year Award in 2010. Marc spends his day producing and directing national commercials and viral videos for top brands in the US, and his indie films have been to over 100 film festivals around the world winning 20 first place prizes. Marc recently Co-Produced and Edited "Only Daughter" a film by Aaron Wiederspahn; Co-Directed the Animated short "Moonlight Bait and Ammo" Written by Alfred Thomas Catalfo as well as Directing the documentary award winning documentary "In Danger of Being Discovered" the story of the Portsmouth music scene of the 1990's.


Stanley Pavuk



Stan is an Account Manager with a global IT company where he works with Fortune 100 companies, managing a $15M book of business. Pavuk is a hard nosed financial brains behind the project as well as being the creative producer that filmmakers love working with. As a childhood friend of McKinney he often got the girl, or football fame that eluded McKinney, some may say he is the succesful prototype for "Smitty".


Dave Statter

Associate Producer


Dave was one of the original “SuperFans” of Hosed the web series. His enthusiasm and experience made us want to bring him on board for Hosed The Movie!

Statter publishes the very popular firefighter website STATter911.com. Most of his career was spent as a TV reporter in Washington, DC where he focused on covering fire and police news. Long ago, he was a volunteer firefighter at the Oxon Hill VFD in Prince George's County, Maryland.


Sabrina Inc.

Social Media


Sabrina Inc. has run successful media/marketing campaigns for major Hollywood projects most recently the Jules Stewart directorial debut feature film K-11. They work with several indie artists as well as A-list stars which cannot be listed here or they will no longer be with Sabrina Inc.